Hugo the Hungry

A Little RP Info – So You Understand My Disaster of a Character

Hugo has spent his entire life clinging to his mother’s apron strings, when he wasn’t stuffing his face with everything remotely edible within a 10-meter radius. For 18 glorious, gravy-soaked years, Mama took care of everything: food, shelter, and keeping him blissfully unaware of the outside world. But eventually, even she reached her breaking point. On his 18th birthday, between bites of his third breakfast, she shoved a satchel into his arms and told him to “go find a woman or a war, whichever shuts your mouth first.”

Now out in the big wide world, Hugo has exactly one problem: women. He can’t talk to them. At all. The moment a female enters the vicinity, he goes full statue,blushing, sweating, and staring like he’s just seen a ghost in lingerie. If he absolutely must communicate, he’ll whisper his thoughts to the nearest man like he’s ordering from a cursed menu, hoping they’ll pass along the message without too much judgment.

It gets worse. If he so much as sees a slave in revealing clothes, he turns into a living tomato. If one touches him, even to pass him a cup or tie his shoelace, his brain shuts down and his pants might betray him. It’s a problem. We don’t talk about it.

Despite all this, Hugo is determined. You see, he once overheard that warriors are admired by women and often end up surrounded by beautiful companions. From that moment on, his life goal became crystal clear: become the world’s most awkward, blushing, lady-fearing warrior ever known.

Also, he travels with his beloved tarsk, Bella, a plump little creature who is, so far, the only animal Hugo has not tried to eat, smelling like hay and regret. She’s his emotional support swine, his squealing sidekick, and the only one who truly understands the weight of his snack cravings and social anxiety.

So yeah… that’s me. Hugo. Professional eater. Aspiring warrior. Terrified of women. Traveling with a tarsk.

Tal.